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Our Minute-by-Minute Breakdown of the PSN Outage

4 Comments | posted

I don’t have to tell you anything about the PlayStation Network outage over the last few weeks — most gamers are already tired out by game news when major news outlets like the New York Times and CNN are reporting on it, and this was obviously on a whole other level never before seen in the industry. Yet try as I might, there was nothing I, or anyone else, could do to avoid hearing about it.

Since the PSN was down for what felt like ages, I kept track of EXACTLY how I spent my time while I waited to collect co-op trophies for Portal 2. And much like Portal 2, this is made with only the most super-serious super-science, because I’ve been very, very bored over the last several weeks.

  • 20 minutes spent changing passwords that were identical to my PSN login to unique passwords.
  • 45 minutes spent the next day trying to remember what those passwords were, because I was cocky enough to think that I could remember them all.
  • 1838 minutes spent watching Seasons One through Three of Mad Men on Blu-Ray.
  • 3676 minutes spent thinking naughty thoughts about Christina Hendricks.

  • 15 minutes spent at the bank applying for a new debit card.
  • 8 of those minutes spent explaining to the banker what the hell PSN even is.
  • 60 minutes spent telling friends and family that just because I write for this site doesn’t mean that I get privileged information about when PSN will return.
  • 120 minutes spent reading the entire timelines of the @Fake_PSN and @KazHiraiSCE parody accounts on Twitter.
  • 180 minutes spent imagining Kaz Hirai in an empty conference room, drinking warm beer and listening to “Black Hole Sun” for hours on end.

  • 45 minutes being told to play the Gears of War 3 beta on Xbox Live.
  • Zero minutes spent playing the Gears of War 3 beta on Xbox Live, because I was too busy with school (FFFFFUUUUUUUU).
  • 20 minutes spent comforting myself knowing that, even if the outage spilled into May 17, L.A. Noire didn’t require PSN to fully enjoy.
  • 300 minutes spent arguing that Sony’s gross incompetence was a huge reason for the downtime with PlayStation fanboys
  • 300 minutes spent arguing that Sony really was honest in their attempt to get PSN up as quickly as possible

  • $35 spent on Steam since the PSN outage.
  • 674 minutes spent playing said games on Steam.
  • 15 minutes typing this list.
  • 150 minutes thinking of what to put on it.

Ahem. So, how did you spend the outage? Let us know in the comments below, or in our lovely forums.

Posted in Editorials |

Comments (4)

  • +silent55

    What’s TRF doin with Christina Hendricks????

  • Kopkiwi

    Wow, you wasted your time.

    Why am I logged in as Reneid Klein.

    I’ve been hacked!!! Oh the Irony

    Kopkiwi.

  • Justin Pinter

    I’m just glad the PSN is back online. I was putting all my time into Civ 5 and Oblivion on PC.

  • blackgold

    Spent 50% of the down time on XBL and the other 50% DOwnloading and watching Porn.

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