DLC
[dee–el–see]
These men are coming for your wallet
Industry definition: A great new method for game developers to create exciting new experiences for gamers’ favorite titles, ensuring that the game remains fresh well after it is purchased.
Real-life destination: A great new method for game publishers to milk a game for all it’s worth, preying on gamers’ devotion to their favorite titles so that no price is too steep to keep playing within their favorite universes.
See: Modern Warfare 2. Only 40% cut & paste per map pack!
Exclusive
[ik-skloo-siv]
Lightning cares not for your silly exclusives
Industry definition: Exciting games or DLC (see above) locked up by console manufacturers to sway public favor towards their particular machine.
Real-life definition: Meaningless, unless said product comes from within a first-party developer. There are a lot of PS3s and 360s out there, enough to make it difficult for any third-party game publisher to favor one machine over another. Games are expensive to make, and it’s silly to think that any corporation wouldn’t want to recoup as much of that money as possible.
See: Final Fantasy XIII, GTA IV: Episodes from Liberty City
FPS
[eff–pee–es]
Do you even know which not-in-WWII shooter this is?
Industry definition: First-person shooter. A genre first popularized by Wolfenstein 3D, it has quickly become arguably the most popular type of game today due to the immersion produced by it’s perspective and reliance on fast-paced online competition.
Real-life definition: F***ing pieces of shit, why are there so goddamn many of you?!?! One at a time! Also a prime way to communicate with vulgar preteen boys while they wipe the floor with you in a game you used to enjoy, if that’s your thing.
See: Fall of every year, forever.
Game of the Year
[geym-uhv-thuh-yeer]
I <3 you, Sackboy, but not GOTY <3 you
Industry definition: A prestigious title awarded to the absolute cream of the crop every calendar year, a tradition started by the original Half-Life way back in 1999 after having won over 50 GOTY awards after its initial release.
Real-life definition: A now-meaningless phrase plastered on the box of a game bundled with post-release DLC. The only criteria is that the game is praised by at least one outlet, no matter how far-fetched it may seem.
See: Borderlands (a fine game, to be sure, but who exactly named it their Game of the Year?), several others.
This article is hysterical. Good job!
Good article. Especially the one about FPS. My gosh do I ever agree with that one.
agree with DLC, such a ripoff (MW2) but i still think hot shots golf 2 for the PSN is awesome! lol great article
Thanks, dudes, glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
You don’t like Retro games ? /cries
@Blinky – You know I love retro games (SONIC 4!!!!), but it’s pretty easy to be let down when you haven’t played them in many, many years. Kinda like when I watched Space Jam for the first time since in over 10 years, lol.
There have been about 15 games with game of the year editions and this generation has only lasted 4 years lol