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The Video Game Survival Guide to The End of the World

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apocalypse

 

Nuclear Apocalypse

It may not be the Cold War anymore, but the superpowers of the world are always on edge. If I were the President of the USA, I probably would have already nuked half the world preemptively, which is why no strategy games made this list: gamers shouldn’t be decision makers in positions of power. With that being said, this is probably one of the most commonly thought about and most feared of the doomsday scenarios. Whether it’s from terrorists, Russia, China, or I don’t know – Iceland – the thought is a scary one. In order to survive after the bombs drop, you should probably play these games:

Do Play: Fallout 3

The game is literally about this exact situation; it’s even named after it! If you don’t play this game to prepare yourself, you’re playing the game of life wrong. I don’t know if you have access to a vault for security after the initial fallout happens, but if you have a way of getting through that and waiting for conditions to improve a bit, this game teaches you everything you need to know. You literally survive in a wasteland in this game. I’m done, nothing more to say about it.

Do Play: Fallen Earth

This game is basically Fallout, in MMO form. It lets you practice those same nuclear wasteland survival skills, to a less fun and non-Bethesda created degree, but with other people. The multiplayer aspect lets you see how you would ration your supplies, whether you would shoot first (good idea) or ask questions first.

Don’t Play: Metro 2033

This game is really good and really fun, but you should not play it to prepare for a nuclear apocalypse. First of all, it takes place in Russia, who in Russia is even allowed to play video games? I don’t know if they are even worth saving, anyways. Second, if their subways are full of monsters like that and the region isn’t already wiped out, I think they’ve already received all the training they need. In Soviet Russia, video games play you.

Environmental Devastation

Global warming, acid rain, earthquakes, volcanoes, the justice of Mother Earth’s sweeping fist – all of these are possible sources of environmental devastation. This is scary because at any moment, the world could just decide to call it quits and essentially implode on yourself. How do I know it could happen? Well, let me ask you this: How do you know it won’t happen? Yeah, that’s what I though.

Do Play: I Am Alive

Once again, this game is literally about this situation happening. You would play out the survival scenario for a man (since females don’t matter) in a city devasted by an environmental catastrophe. Mother Earth got mad (because she is an illogical woman) and decided to screw up everything. It teaches you lessons about climbing on stuff and walking down empty streets. Enjoy!

Do Play: Bioshock

I guess if the world were coming to an end, playing one of the best games this generation isn’t a bad way to go out. Oh, also, it sort of gets you ready because you could go underwater…to escape?…and stuff. Whatever, if the top-side of the Earth goes to hell, maybe living underwater would be a good idea. You get super powers and can control bees or something too.

Don’t Play: Tokyo Jungle

This game is basically the same as I Am Alive, except you play as animals. How in the world would that help us out? We are people. We are not lions. Although…I’ve always wanted to be a lion. Living in Tokyo, as a lion, without a bunch of people running around, that sounds pretty awesome. You know what? Maybe you should play this game!

Biblical/Mythological Apocalypse

What if you woke up tomorrow and it was raining hell-fire outside your home? The end of days could very well be upon us and I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Whether it be death by horseman or buff human-turned-God, we aren’t going to live forever. I guess if the end is nigh, we may as well go out in style. Check out these games to make sure your body is ready.

Do Play: Darksiders

You should play this game because it tells the true story of one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse riding onto Earth and ending all of humanity. So, this game shows what happens after we are all gone! It’s also a fantastic game, so there’s that. While it isn’t super helpful for surviving the end of the world, at least you’ll know that drama and fetch quests still exist.

Do Play: God of War

Instead of being about a Horseman of the Apocalypse, this game is about a pissed off Spartan warrior. I don’t know about you, but if practicing the art of decapitation and boning beautiful women doesn’t sounds like great practice for the end of the world, I don’t know what does. While we may not all individually possess the Blades of Chaos or the means to murder legendary figures, we can at least get psyched up to fight off whatever demons do descend on the planet.

Don’t Play: Bible Adventures

If the world is coming to an end, in the biblical/mythological sense, I don’t think playing this family friendly game of Bible Adventures is such a good idea. Sure, David defeting Goliath is inspirational and Noah’s Ark sounds like Tokyo Jungle gone wrong, I’d rather slay Gods and play as a Horseman of the Apocalypse. Call me optimistic…

Keep reading on the last page for our final tips for survival!

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Comments (3)

  • Hunter

    “Don’t play Advance Wars, because that’s an icky Nintendo game. Play Majora’s Mask instead!”
    -David

    • David Jagneaux

      Yup.

  • DJ L Toro

    Do play Asteroids. This is correct

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